The End---Mount Elgon

Here is my last week and a half in Uganda…

Debrief: We stayed in a convent in Entebbe for debrief and spent a lot of time processing the semester and what it is going to be like adjusting back to life in the States. To be honest, I’m kind of nervous to see how the whole ‘reverse culture shock’ is going to effect me, or if it will effect me at all. It’s going to be a challenge, but I think I am more nervous about not experiencing any problems adjusting back. I’d like to think I’ve changed…and if I don’t feel that, I think it makes my semester a little less valid in my mind. I don’t know if that makes sense…but things are already starting to seem like fuzzy memories and that scares me more than anything!

While staying in the convent, I found a 4 in centipede, or millipede, or whatever in my bed…it was HUGE! Then the next night I found a lizard in there too. I’m a little nervous to see what might have crawled in my open suitcase while we were there…I guess we will find out soon! =) The entire city of Entebbe ran out of water for the week. How does that happen? It’s funny how things like that aren’t necessarily surprising anymore…just kind of funny.

Goodbyes were HARD! The last day everyone was here, some of our UCU friends came and visited us. We went to the zoo and beach (someone remind me to take my bilharzia medicine in 5 weeks) and then watched everyone drive away. That was the hardest part. Since I stayed to hike Mount Elgon, I was left behind. I didn’t realize the extent of how precious my community was this semester. Never have I spent 4 entire months with the same group of people day in and day out. I miss them already!

Okay now let me tell you about Mount Elgon. YIKES! Well, we hiked for 4 days in the cold rain and mud. Each night we got maybe two hours of sleep because we would wake up shaking we were so cold!! Each day I thought, “This is definitely the most miserable I’ve ever been in my whole life,” but then the next day would top the level of misery from the previous day. On the third day we reached the summit at 14,000 feet, and on the hike down it started ice raining when we had about 10 miles to go…we made it in like 3 hours! Okay but now you are probably thinking this was the worst experience of my life…it wasn’t! I can honestly say it was probably one of the most physically and emotionally challenging things I have ever done…but it was SO rewarding! To say the scenery was beautiful is an extreme understatement, and the community was really great too! I got so much joy out of sitting around the fire with the porters drinking tea and just hanging out with people. I am so so thankful for the experience, and even though our trails were rivers most of the time, it was definitely worth it. I will say though, I definitely wouldn’t do it during the rainy season again.

On the last day I had to hike down early because I was flying out that night. So Rachel and I hiked down with our guide. That was definitely the most miserable hike. It was a full body workout leaning on my bamboo stick and trying not to slide down the hills. All my toes have blisters the size of eyeballs on them. I’ve never walked more like an old woman in my whole life. Anyway, we reached the bottom by noon, then I jumped in the car with Vincent who drove me 5 hours to Mukono so I could shower for the first time in 5 days, and then I repacked and drove 2 ½ more hours to get to the airport, boarded a plane and flew to Amsterdam…ALL IN ONE DAY!! Boom. I’m pretty sure I’ve slept about 10 hours total in the past 5 days. I think I’m definitely pretty exhausted. While I’m writing this I’m on a plane somewhere between Amsterdam and Washington D.C.. One and a half airplanes down, 2 ½ to go. It’s such a weird feeling going home…or maybe it’s more weird not knowing when I’m going back to Uganda. One of the staff shared a quote with us…I’m not sure exactly how it goes, but it says something like “My heart will never fully be at home again, because home is in so many different places.” I should look up what it actually is…but I can definitely identify with what she was getting at. Have patience with me while I’m adjusting back. There’s a good chance I’ll be an emotional wreck…and a good chance I’ll be just fine. Just bear with me, please!

In conclusion to my semester, here are some bits and pieces of random thoughts and lessons learned…some being my own, and some stolen from other students who are better at articulating their thoughts than I am. This is where I’m at…

1. The past four months are no less real than the first 20 years of my life. To just write it off as a cool experience and memory seems almost disrespectful to the people who poured into me while being there. I need to find a way to integrate that community into my other communities as well.

2. Live IN the moment…emphasis on the IN. It’s about who you are IN it…not just who you are before or after.

3.Discomfort is where you grow. It’s when you’re terrified at the ledge with your hands on the rope swing when it’s make or break. JUMP! There is freedom.

4. Don’t worry about what’s next…live faithfully where you’re at, day to day.

5. Ordinary is okay.

See you all soon!

Week 15--Rwanda

Okay, wrapping up my semester. The past couple weeks have been insane! Goodbyes at UCU were definitely not fun…but we got through them and drove 10 hours to Rwanda. It’s kind of hard to explain all that we did there, and I’m writing this two weeks after we were there, so it might be kind of scattered…but I’ll do my best!

We spent our time in Rwanda learning all about the genocide that happened in 1994. First we went to a mass grave called Nyamata where 56,000 people are buried. The grave is located at the church where 10,000 of those people were killed. What would happen is all the Tutsis would gather in the churches where they thought they would be safe. This was quite convenient for the Hutus who would come and kill tens of thousands of people at a time. We walked into the church, where you could see holes from the grenades and the broken door from when they broke in. Sitting on all the benches were piles and piles of clothes from the 10,000 people killed there. In the back of the church they had the children’s clothes, which might have been one of the hardest parts. Right behind them was a brick wall where they would swing the kids around by their feet and bash their heads again the wall. We thought this was bad, but then they took us into one of the open graves where there were piles of skulls and bones on every side of us. They pointed out the ones that had been cut down by a machete, clubbed to death, or shot. One pregnant woman in particular had been raped over 20 times and then was “crossed” by shoving a stakes from her privates to her neck and then through her stomach. Rough stuff.

Next we visited the Kigali Genocide Museum where over 250,000 people are buried. We walked through the mass graves and read about the history of the genocide. The worst part of the entire thing was a room they had dedicated to children who died. In it, they had giant pictures of various Rwandan children with small facts about them like their favorite food, sports they liked, their favorite toys, and then the way they died. For instance, Name: Emmanuel   Favorite food: Matoke   Liked: Soccer   Last words: “Mommy where should I go?”   Died by: Machete.  It hit me that these kids would have been my age…some of them probably would have been at the university I studied at, but they didn’t get the chance to live because their ancestors were cattle owners (I’ll get to that later). WHAT?! It’s insane. I broke down. Later that day they brought the remains of another body to be buried there and we saw them bring the body in with all the family walking with them—also emotional. It’s crazy to think they are still finding bodies eighteen years later on a regular basis.

On Sunday they divided us into groups of 5 and sent us to churches in rural Rwanda. That was interesting first of all because they sat us up front behind the alter and then we had to lead a couple songs…but the people there were so welcoming and friendly; however, you could still see the pain in their eyes. To get to the church I was at, we had to drive around 3 hours up to the remote village. Near the village we passed a mass grave where 4,000 people were buried. Then we were told that just a few kilometers away was the famous Catholic Church where a priest helped bulldoze the church in, killing 51,000 people seeking protection in it.  The numbers were so overwhelming. But on a side note, the village had the most amazing view. We saw all the way over to Tanzania!

Monday and Tuesday included a memorial where 10 Belgian soldiers were killed and then we went to a fabric place where women have formed a community sewing and sending crafts to the U.S. We also went to another place called Azizi life where women make crafts and sell them for fair prices (check it out online!), and while there they taught us how to weave baskets. We were pretty pathetic, and since it can take days for one basket, I only got a little circle done before I gave up!

Okay, and now for the coolest part of out trip. On our final day in Rwanda we joined up with an organization called CARSA, which works for reconciliation/forgiveness/rehabilitation between the perpetrators and victims of the genocide. They use some pretty creative ways to do this. So in the group I was with, we went and helped build a cow shed for a cow that is owned by a women and the man who killed her family. To do this, we had to carry water, dig some dirt, throw in some cow poop and grass, and then stomp around knee deep in mud to mix it all together. Then we piled in up on a stick frame and had ourselves a cow hut! The cool part was that it included all kinds of people. One man in particular had disfigured face from deep machete cuts. His hand was broken and his nose barely existed, but he was the most joyful one there! The other cool part was that we didn’t even know who the victims and perpetrators were until after when we all shared a big pan of cassava and beans and they told us their stories. It was beautiful. As one victim said in a documentary we watched, “How can we deny forgiveness when we ourselves are forgiven sinners?”

So here is the short version of the complicated build up to the genocide, based on my understanding: Rwanda is unique in that it is a country with one culture. Everyone speaks the same language and has the same traditions. Well, back in the day before colonization, Tutsis were the wealthy cattle owners and the Hutus were the farmers and the ones who worked for them. When the Germans/Belgians/French (I get really confused at this part) came in they emphasized this division, gave them identity cards, and placed the Tutsis in power. But when everyone started itching for freedom from western control, they Germans (I think) put the majority Hutus in control to try and gain back some respect. Things went crazy, and there were several mini genocides and massacres before the big one in 1994. The government and other Hutus used propaganda to dehumanize the Tutsis, calling them cockroaches and claiming they were intruders from another country. Then when the president’s place crashed at the end of the Kigali runway (no one knows if it was the Hutus or Tutsis who brought it down, all hell broke loose. It was announced all over the radio that the time had come to get rid of the Tutsis, and the people of Rwanda, who are known as an obedient people, obeyed the orders. Neighbors who took care of each other’s children murdered each other with machetes that had strategically been distributed. People who worshiped together in choir practice earlier that night turned on each other as well. Tutsis gathered in churches where they were sure they would be safe, but that only made it easier to systematically kill them. They waited and waited for the world to notice and intervene, but the West, particularly the U.S. refused to use the ‘genocide’ word so they wouldn’t have to get involved. Instead they pulled out all their citizens, ignoring the desperate pleas of the Tutsis who would be killed just hours later. White skin was the ticket out…missionaries’ dogs were evacuated rather than their Rwandan colleagues and neighbors. This went on for 100 days, when the Tutsi rebel army finally reached Kigali. The general of that Army is still the president of Rwanda today.

So through this whole trip, we experienced a lot of emotions…and a lot of anger/hatred for the United States. Bill Clinton was quoted saying once, “The U.S. doesn’t have friends, it has interests,” insinuating that Rwanda had nothing to offer us, so why should we put ourselves at risk? I was also angry with the church. How could the body of Christ turn on each other like that…and then still go worship on Sunday?? I wondered if I was capable of killing like what happened in Rwanda. That was answered by a quote from the only American who remained in Rwanda throughout the genocide, “We, as humans, have enormous potential for good...but also enormous potential for evil.” So the answer is yes. He also talked about how in our lives, when a response to a situation is demanded, our choice has already been made. Snap decisions come from our character…from the small choices we’ve made our entire lives. We learned about the insane power of forgiveness. When we refuse to forgive, we are tied to the person who wronged us creating a heavy chain that follows us wherever we go. To forgive is the only way to free yourself. Rwanda is discovering that in the most painful and beautiful of ways.

So that was our trip. Pretty emotional, but I feel so blessed to have gotten to be a part of it. Other details about our time there include a crazy big fire just a short ways down the hill from where we were staying. I guess a mattress factory caught on fire and totally burned down. We could see them trying to get things out of the building and could hear people yelling. There was a rumor that 4 people died, but no one was for sure. For Rwanda Debrief we go an island to ourselves on Lake Bunyonyi…a 6,000-foot deep lake surrounded by hills near Kabale. There was no electricity, and it was freezing cold, but it was incredibly beautiful…and it had a terrifying rope swing! Jumping from the platform was 10 times more scary than bungee jumping was, but so worth it! The water was beautiful. When it was all over, we drove 10 hours to Entebbe where we stayed at a convent and had Semester Debrief. I’ll work on another post about my last two weeks spent in Africa and get it out in a day or two! Thanks for reading…and thanks for caring! =) (Once again, too long to proof read…sorry for typos!)